It’s Not You

IT’S NOT YOU
CLOSETED LESBIAN COAXED INTO STRAIGHT SEX WITH BOYFRIEND

SCENE OPENS on a teen woman Sheena (Aidra Fox) standing in her bedroom. ‘Billy, I have something to tell you…’ she says to an unseen recipient, clearly struggling with the words. ‘I’m a lesbian.’ She waits with a pause, but there’s no response – after a couple of seconds, the camera cuts wider to reveal that she’s in fact practicing in front of a mirror. She sighs in exasperation, and mutters to herself that it’s too blunt. ‘Billy,’ she tries again in a slightly different tone, ‘you know that I love you, right? But… I can’t, like, LOVE love you. Because… I love women. UGH!’ She continues to get more and more frustrated as she practices coming out in different ways in front of the mirror, none of them sounding right to her. Eventually she gets so upset that she hits the side of her fist against the wall with a large smack. She swears to herself as she shakes off the pain and paces around the room. She shoots a look over to her cell phone, which is laying conspicuously in the middle of her perfectly made bed, dead center. It seems to stare at her, and she stares back in hesitation for several seconds. Finally, with a burst of nervous energy she picks up the phone and dials a number.

As the phone rings, Sheena bites her thumb and shakes her legs restlessly. On the third ring, her boyfriend Billy (Robby Echo) picks up. ‘Hey babe,’ we hear his voice say casually on the other end of the line. ‘Hey bab- hey Billy,’ Sheena replies, obviously uncomfortable with using their usual terms of endearment towards him. He asks her what’s up, and she starts off with a variation of the speech she was practicing in the mirror. She asks him that he knows she loves him, right? He says yeah, of course, he loves her too. She says well, she has something to tell him. She goes on to say that she’s figured some stuff out about herself, important stuff… she stops herself mid-sentence, and asks to start over. She tells her he’s very special to him, and she has some news to tell him. He replies with worry that she sounds serious – is it something bad? Thrown off by the question, she stutters that it’s not bad, just… different.

Billy laughs nervously, ‘Babe, you’re not making much sense.’ The conversation is silent on both ends, as Billy waits for a reply and Sheena takes a deep breath in, desperate for air, and puts her hand to her head frustrated with herself. After a moment, Billy asks if she’s there. ‘Yeah, I’m still here, sorry…’ Sheena says in apology. She suggests maybe they can get together – this might be something better to talk about in person. Billy says sure, she can come to his place – his parents are up at the cottage all weekend so they’ll have the place to themselves. That’s good, Sheena says with relief, it’s probably better that they’re alone actually. They finalize plans for her to come over, and then say their goodbyes. ‘Love you, babe,’ Billy says on the other line. Sheena pauses, almost hanging up, but stops herself and puts her phone back to her ear. ‘You too,’ she says softly. She hangs up, and then tosses her phone to the side of the bed in dismay. She pulls a pillow from the head of her bed and pulls it towards her for comfort, curling up with it and stifling the urge to cry.

TITLE PLATE

Sheena is on the front porch of a house as the door opens and her boyfriend Billy opens the door. He moves in to kiss her but she deflects, scooping him into a hug instead. He’s none the wiser, and hugs her back warmly before offering for her to come inside. As he leads her to his kitchen, he tells her that he was hoping she would call. He knows she’s been really busy the past few weeks and they haven’t had as much time to spend together, he’s been trying not to be needy about it… but with his parents gone all weekend he was going to have a lot of time alone on his hands, so he’s glad she reached out so they get a chance to be together for a bit.

They get settled in in the kitchen. Billy asks her if she wants a snack, and Sheena says no, she’s fine thanks. Is she thirsty? he asks as a follow-up. A bit annoyed, she shakes her head and says no, then realizes she was being snappy and in a nicer tone she says she just wants HIM for a second.

Sheena starts a new speech, this time in a bit of a roundabout way. She explains that Billy’s not just her boyfriend, he’s her best friend. He says that she’s his best friend too. She confesses that there’s something that’s been on her mind for a while… a new part of herself, and it took her a little while to understand what she was feeling, but now that she does, she wanted to share that part of herself with Billy before anybody else. Billy stops her – she doesn’t need to say anything else. He’s felt it too. Sheena looks surprised – he has? Billy nods reassuringly, and says that he didn’t want to pressure her into saying or doing anything she wasn’t ready for, but if she wants to, then he’s ready too. They hold hands as Billy leads her to his bedroom, where they sit on the edge of the bed.

Sheena exhales with relief and a smile of disbelief. She’s ready, she says. She closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath. Unbeknownst to her, Billy takes this as a sign to lean in and kiss her on the lips. Just as his lips are about to reach hers she opens her eyes to declare ‘I’m gay.’ She sees him inches away from her face.

Both recoil, upset at the confusion. Sheena asks what Billy was doing. Hurt and confused, he said he was about to kiss her. What does she mean, she’s gay?! Sheena ignores his question, and asks why he was about to kiss her?! Billy pulls his hands away from hers and gets defensive, saying that he thought she was telling him she was ready to have sex. This upsets Sheena, and the two of them argue over his confusion towards what she said about ‘sharing a new part of herself’ – he thought she meant she had finally gotten over her hang-ups about having sex before marriage and was ready to be with him.

Welling up into tears, Sheena explains that she was trying to come out to him. She’s felt so alone, she had nobody to tell and he’s her best friend but he’s also her boyfriend and she knew it would break his heart. Feeling betrayed, he asks how long she’s known about this and didn’t tell him. She tells him she’s only felt certain about it for a few weeks, but in the back of her mind she’s known something felt off since even before she was 18 and they started dating. Billy asks if that’s why she’s been avoiding him for the past few weeks, saying she’s always busy when he wants to spend time with her. Sheena doesn’t answer directly, but replies as she wipes back tears that she was looking for a way to tell him that wouldn’t hurt his feelings. Billy tells her he was saving himself for her, because he loves her so much and because she said she wanted to wait until marriage. But that was a lie, wasn’t it, she just didn’t want to have sex with him. Sheena pleads with him – ‘It’s not you, Billy, it has nothing to do with you! You’re the sweetest guy I ever met!’ Billy doesn’t meet her eyes, and Sheena continues, explaining that she tried for so long to convince myself she could be happy – THEY could be happy – together. But she was just fooling herself.

Billy looks up at her pleadingly. ‘But… I love you,’ he says. Sheena looks away. ‘But I don’t love you, Billy,’ she explains, ‘at least not in that way.’ Billy looks stung, and replies more urgently – how does she even know that, though? It’s not like she’s ever tried?! Sheena insists that she just knows, she doesn’t know how she knows but she knows. Billy starts to bargain in desperation, maybe if she tries it she’ll actually find out she really likes it. Sheena mutters that she doesn’t think it works that way. But she doesn’t KNOW, Billy insists. Right? Isn’t it worth a shot? Shouldn’t she at least try it once before making up her mind, before she throws away everything they have together?

Sheena says nothing until Billy asks what Sheena’s father will think. She’s confused and asks him why does that matter? And how would he even find out? They lock eyes and Sheena realizes that Billy is not as sweet and caring as she thought he was. In order to stop him from telling her father, she will have to give in and give herself to him. But at the same time, maybe somehow she can prove to him through the ultimate betrayal of her own body that she’s gay once and for all.